Sometimes I have to comb through the recesses of YouTube to find junked videos and forgotten footage that is just amazing. Sometimes it comes to me. I am the YouTube Treasure Hunter. Every week I brave spider videos, footage of tornadoes and the occasional inexplicable zit-popping upload to find some of the rarest jewels YouTube has to offer.
Oh, there’s gold in them thar hills, but sometimes you just have to wade through a ton of crap to get to it.
This week’s treasure? Crap. This bizarrely bizarre video of a girl taking a shit in class was made for Funny or Die — it’s actually in their contest for best video of the year. But it isn’t so much funny as it is … die. Or weird. Maybe both. Pulling a box of kitty litter out of her bag, she teaches her teacher a lesson (see what I did there?) about not excusing people to go to the bathroom. Speaking of which, one time in seventh grade I had to pee on the outside wall of the jr. high bathroom because a teacher wouldn’t excuse me to go to the bathroom in time. It was that or pee my pants. Granted, I should have used the restroom during recess. But try telling a 12-year-old Jeff Klima to make sensible decisions. Damn. I’m lucky I’m not a “sex offender” or something now.
This journey into the what-ifs of taking a dump in class is unsettling at best — exactly what we at YouTube Treasure Hunter look for. If only this treasure of a video was authentic and not staged; that would be the real gold.
Stay tuned for next Sunday, treasure hunters! I’ve got something that really cooks! No, it isn’t a pizza oven video … you’ll just have to tune in.