Sometimes I have to comb through the recesses of YouTube to find junked videos and forgotten footage that is just amazing. Sometimes it comes to me. I am the YouTube Treasure Hunter. Every week I brave spider videos, footage of tornadoes and the occasional inexplicable zit-popping upload to find some of the rarest jewels YouTube has to offer.
Oh, there’s gold in them thar hills, but sometimes you just have to wade through a ton of crap to get to it.
This week’s treasure? Crap. This bizarrely bizarre video of a girl taking a shit in class was made for Funny or Die — it’s actually in their contest for best video of the year. But it isn’t so much funny as it is … die. Or weird. Maybe both. Pulling a box of kitty litter out of her bag, she teaches her teacher a lesson (see what I did there?) about not excusing people to go to the bathroom. Speaking of which, one time in seventh grade I had to pee on the outside wall of the jr. high bathroom because a teacher wouldn’t excuse me to go to the bathroom in time. It was that or pee my pants. Granted, I should have used the restroom during recess. But try telling a 12-year-old Jeff Klima to make sensible decisions. Damn. I’m lucky I’m not a “sex offender” or something now.
This journey into the what-ifs of taking a dump in class is unsettling at best — exactly what we at YouTube Treasure Hunter look for. If only this treasure of a video was authentic and not staged; that would be the real gold.
Stay tuned for next Sunday, treasure hunters! I’ve got something that really cooks! No, it isn’t a pizza oven video … you’ll just have to tune in.
Jeff Klima, whoever you are, you make my day with your writing. YOU ARE HILARIOUS.
Thank you for watching the unthinkable to provide your readers with these disturbing gems.