7 Secret Talents of Jessie J


There’s a video making the rounds this morning in which British popstar Jessie J sings her Grammy nominated hit “Bang Bang” with her mouth closed. Who knew that she had such a bizarre hidden talent? I did! That’s who! As NMR’s resident pop music scholar I’ve prepared this quick primer on the many hidden charms and talents of Ms. Jessie J. Educate yourself with these 7 important educational videos:

Here’s our heroine demonstrating her unusual vocal skill for British talkshow host Graham Norton. This video is currently trending all over the place, but let’s be real here. I’ve seen better.



Here’s Jessie singing with a mouth full of water…on stage…DURING A LIVE SHOW.



And here’s one guaranteed to please the YouTube audience. Jessie pulls an improvised Chubby Bunny challenge and sings through a mouthful of marshmallows.



Maybe you’re not a fan of the “doing stuff with things in her mouth” genre. That’s cool. You’re tough to please and I respect that. Maybe I could interest you in this impromptu accent challenge. If Jessie decided to ditch the pop music gig she could have a bright future doing voiceover work with these uncanny accents.



I’m not saying Jessie J is a shape shifter with the ability to morph her face into a variety of hideous fright masks to amuse and terrify…but I’m not NOT saying that either.



She can do a fairly high quality version of “the robot”…or she IS a robot.



Finally, and most importantly, Jessie J is the original writer of the Miley Cyrus hit “Party In The USA.” Which is not only a weird fact but an iconic achievement in the field of pop music. Check out Jessie’s rendition of her first masterpiece.



Share this article and in the comments let us know if you think Jessie J is human or a cyborg of some sort as we have long suspected.