NMR Grades the 2015 Super Bowl Commercials On YouTube

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Super Bowl commercials are practically their own event now. They should just devote the entire Saturday before the big game to showing commercials they think people will love. Kids, puppies, hot women, just toss them all in there. With advertisers spending upwards of $4 million for a 30-second ad, the ad firms quickly realized that they could increase ROI (Return On Investment) by putting ads on YouTube BEFORE the big game. And it works! You people are so crazy for Super Bowl-esque advertising, you will watch it when it’s not attached to the football that surrounds it.

The downside to all this? NMR gets a hold of the advertising and ranks it, rates it, and dismantles it based on such factors as funniness, popularity and creativity. Oh, and if it has some of those puppies we mentioned.

The commercials (so far):

Victoria’s Secret

Let’s take some of the most beautiful women in the world and completely cover them up. Sure, they’ll be wearing tight pants, but that will just give you uncomfortable thoughts about when you see the actual players rocking those same pants. And do I think these girls can run/pass/play as advertised here? Not a chance. But it did get over 1.5 million views so far, so I guess a few of you liked it.

Views: 1.5 million+

Grade: B

Bud Light

I’ve seen this commercial twice now and I already can’t stand it. And neither can any of my coworkers. This guy seems obnoxious with his loud gestures (don’t ask me how gestures can have a tonal quality, this guy manages it). What I’d really like to see from Bud Light is them asking some schlub if he’s up for anything and then they send him to a terminal cancer ward or something. Enough with giving people quasi-awesome experiences, “anything” entails tragedy and people begging not to die. Let’s see some of that, Bud Light.

Views: 5.6 million+
Grade: D+

T-Mobile

This is awful because it reveals that Kim Kardashian is now “Kim Kardashian West” and her occupation is “Famous Person.” If she were a likeable celebrity, they could get away with this, but Kim isn’t likeable. Still, T-Mobile had an interesting idea in spoofing those “save a dying child in Africa” ads with their “save the unused data” tag — it would have been better if they had the guts to go full bore and really make it a daring/memorable commercial. Instead, fear of retribution/bad publicity made them go soft. They already deserve bad publicity for employing a Kardashian though.

Views: 475,000+ (in just 14 hours!)

Grade: C

Wix.com

Brett Favre being tutored by Lloyd from “some old show that nobody gives a shit about that also has a movie coming out this year, but should have come out, like, 10 years ago.” So far, this is the worst of the Super Bowl commercials because it completely misses the funny mark + right now, Brett Favre is still considered kinda icky for that whole p*nis selfie. Why not get Anthony Weiner to be in the commercial also? Stupid commercial, stupid idea, bad casting.

Views: 44,401 (cue sad trumpet)

Grade: F

Carl’s Jr.

I get what Carl’s Jr. is doing as I happen to be in their target market (the whole “has a p*nis” thing), so I am not quite as outraged as the ladies of “The View” or whomever has attempted to get this commercial banned from the Super Bowl (and has, if early reports are correct). While it doesn’t bring anything new to the table in terms of humor, it certainly corrects the issue the Victoria’s Secret commercial had.

Views: 5 million+

Grade: B+

What do you think? Are we too mean? Too nice? Once we get some beers in us on game day, our evaluations are likely to change.

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