The University of Maryland is trying to jumpstart the robot-apocalypse by using YouTube cooking videos. Showing robots the videos, they are hoping that they can train robots to use the kitchen to prepare food for mankind. Through a system of electronic components, including a visual recognition mode, the robots are learning through various YouTube cooking tutorials that, say, “a cup” can be a set amount of a product, but also a vessel for holding water or even, sometimes, a glass is called a cup too. There are a lot of conditional nuances, slang, colloquialisms and different methodologies on YouTube and showing the robots can help them learn and retain them all.
That being said, cooking should mostly be about learning to prepare sustenance that keeps us alive, not making a car out of bacon. So with that in mind, here are six channels those Maryland robots can probably ignore:
6. Cooking With Dog
We love this channel, but we have to believe that robots are still in that literal stage of learning. Unfortunately, the title alone would likely cause the robots to engage in attempting a series of culinary dishes that few outside of Eastern Asia would find palatable. Basically, “wokking the dog” would become a thing.
5. To Serve Man
Okay, so this is more of an episode of The Twilight Zone
than an actual cooking channel, but if they’re both on YouTube, will the robots know the difference? In this freaky classic episode, humans get excited about their new alien buddies who seem to possess a book on being slaves to humans called “To Serve Man.” In the end, it turns out “To Serve Man” … is a cookbook.
4. Vegan ANYTHING
Anything vegan sucks — especially their ideology, but also their food. Teaching robots veganism would lead to goals of skewing to the extreme opposite direction of learning to make an unhealthy bacon car — they would make a boring tofu car. Ugh.
3. Robot Cooking Channel
If anything, robots should not be teaching other robots how to cook. Meet Ciros, a robot chef who prepares a salad for people (robots don’t eat salad). This is basically a game of Telephone … the first robot does what it thinks is right (but is a little bit wrong), then the second robot comes along and does it a little more wrong. Pretty soon, instead the robots adding pickles to our hamburger, we’re ending up with a bun full of dishwasher parts, coleslaw and rat poison.
2. Vegan Black Metal Chef
In addition to being an obnoxious vegan channel, Vegan Black Metal Chef would go above and beyond and instill a sense of emo-filled ennui to the robots’ personality mode. The last thing we need are f**king Goth robots.
1. Epic Meal Time
Was there any doubt? Probably the only YouTube channel who actually tried to build a car out of meat, Epic Meal Time
would basically be the starting off point where robots learn to kill humans — with sodium.
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