Bad news, everyone: Apple has finally unveiled the Apple Watch and now we all have to buy one. Apple basically killed the watch eight years ago when they delivered the iPhone into our sweaty, grasping, clutches. Now they’re bringing it back as a very expensive wi-fi enabled zombie. Why do we have to buy one you ask? I don’t know, I think it’s the law now. All I can say for sure is that they range in price from somewhere between the cost of a very nice dinner and a very shitty car, so I hope you’ve been saving your pennies.
Anyway, I think we all have a lot of questions about what our Appley overlords have in store for us. Unfortunately I’m too busy writing Craigslist ads to sell off my non-essential organs to walk you through the ins and outs of Apple’s latest offerings. Lucky for us, Gabe Hohreiter has all the details you could possibly need. Check it out in the latest edition of #News.
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