So there’s this odd little channel that you won’t be able to stand, but your babies will love (if you have babies, that is). It’s also not that little — in fact, it’s ginormous. With over 2 million subscribers, Little Baby Bum is the channel that you’ve never heard of, but it gets almost hour-long engagement on every video, which is unheard of in YouTube land.
So how does one get hour long engagement? Run a channel for babies — the idea being that babies CAN’T change the channel. So how do they get there in the first place? Here’s the brilliant part: parents trust the Little Baby Bum channel, so they plant them there in front of a screen with access.
“What tipped the channel from being a big deal to being in the top five was the decision to make longer compilation videos. Near-hour long compendiums of Wheels On Buses and Black Sheeps Baa Baaing found huge audiences and that, as all the meetings I’ve attended in Google’s offices about algorithms and best practice have repeatedly stressed, is not how it’s supposed to work. Short videos for the easily distracted, flitting viewer-bees of generation whatever it’s called this week – those are the thing.
“This is the key to the Little Bum’s success: the realisation that babies don’t choose what to watch on YouTube, their parents do. And parents don’t want to put their kids in front of YouTube for five or 10 minutes before pressing play again, they want them there for however long it takes to cook dinner, or do the school run, or stand deadly still in a dark room breathing heavily and clenching and unclenching their fists.”
(I shit you not, the above video has over 100 million views)
So how do you get that sort of passive channel engagement without stepping on the toes of the husband/wife team who runs Little Baby Bum? THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
Where else can you get passive viewers who will watch for HOURS?
Stoners are great because they happily watch stupid shit. They think it is amazing that they watched 13 hours of old Thundercats (Mumm-ra would be such a f**king downer though). Which is great for you because you don’t have to try. Just put some wiggling shit in impressive colors and watch the views roll in.
2. Passed Out Frat Boys.
This one is a little trickier. You have to frontload your videos with boob content. The thumbnail has to hint at boobies being released, there has to be some attractive girls, probably in bikinis or something, and they have to constantly be acting like they are going to free the chesty two. Your goal here is to lure the drunken frat boy in before he passes out while waiting for boobage. After about four minutes, just have 10 hours of white noise. It’s a goldmine.
3. The QVC Crowd.
Why are you not running a home shopping network from your YouTube account? Well, it’s probably illegal in YouTube’s Terms and Conditions. But you know what isn’t illegal? Acting like you’re going to sell them something. String viewers along, show them cheap necklaces with limited numbers or art … with limited numbers. Basically, make them think they are going to miss out if they don’t buy. Only the telephone number they can buy from never shows up. They’ll keep watching and waiting, watching and waiting…
These are just three options out of … possibly dozens. Quality views are counted in time, not numbers any longer. You want long views — those are what make your channel attractive to YouTube proper. You’ve just got to get creative to attract these clutch long views.