Sometimes I have to comb through the recesses of YouTube to find junked videos and forgotten footage that is just amazing. Sometimes it comes to me. I am the YouTube Treasure Hunter. Every week, I brave spider videos, footage of tornadoes and the occasional inexplicable zit-popping upload to find some of the rarest jewels YouTube has to offer.
Oh, there’s gold in them thar hills, but sometimes you just have to wade through a ton of crap to get to it.
This week’s treasure? You like bad rap videos, right? Like they’re so bad they’re awful but you still can’t look away. Well if that’s the case and you’ve never seen “Treat Me Like A Pirate,” the rap video by Flynt Flossy and co., well then, goddamn are you in for a treat. This is a Jan Terry level of bizarre when it comes to music videos. This is like “Friday” for grownups. It’s not a great song, it’s an even worse music video, and yet, something tells me you’re gonna be watching it all damn day. Or at least trying to get its insipid words out of your head. Welcome to my hell.
Stay tuned for next Sunday, treasure hunters! I’ve got something that really sparks! No, it isn’t a WNBA player … you’ll just have to tune in.