Since we’re weekend warriors now, it only makes sense that we break from the pack and engage in some rampant free-thinking. Pretty soon YouTube and Hollywood should completely merge and we will be seeing our favorite YouTubers starring in our favorite TV shows and movies. Of course, until that point, we can only speculate on what might have been had this merger happened 10, 20 or 500 years ago. So every weekend, we take a pop culture movie and recast it with YouTubers who we think might have worked perfectly in that role.
This week: American Pie
Considering that today is 3.14 or “Pie Day,” it seemed only appropriate that we would do a recast involving a pie of sorts. American Pie is one of those movie classics from the raunchy era that included “Something About Mary and Scary Movie. Not only is it a great cast ensemble movie, its pretty damn funny.
The story of a group of buddies trying to lose their virginity before prom, this movie has sex, comedy, grossouts and, of course, Stifler’s mom — the generator of the now-mainstream internet term “MILF.” This is a huge cast, so we’re going to stick to the best, most recastable roles. As a result, a couple of otherwise main characters might get lost in the mix because they were less fun to recast. Here are the YouTubers we think would work oh so well in a YouTube recast of American Pie.
Played in the movie by: Jason Biggs
Played in our version by: Ray William Johnson
All I had to do was ask myself who was the YouTuber most likely to stick his dick in a pie?
Played in the movie by: Eugene Levy
Played in our version by: Kev Jumba’s Dad
Though Benny Fine looks the part, there is no better substitute for Jim’s dad than an ACTUAL dad. And as far as dads go, Kev Jumba’s is damn near perfect.
Played in the movie by: Alyson Hannigan
Played in our version by: Lindsey Stirling
One of the few Youtubers who might actually have gone to band camp, Lindsey works great here because she is so sweet and normal like the character Michelle — she’s one of the last people you might guess would turn out to be a total freak in the sack.
Played in the movie by: Shannon Elizabeth
Played in our version by: Ellie
The hot foreign girl who is down for the cause? Why not Ellie, a German YouTuber with an ability to effect all manner of accents?
Played in the movie by: Eddie Kaye Thomas
Played in our version by: Elliott Morgan
Won’t take a shit at the school, rides a moped, likes scotch and older women. When I say all that, Elliott Morgan pops into my head for some reason.
Played in the movie by: Seann William Scott
Played in our version by: Vitaly
Ah the devil-may-care party boy who just lives to get laid. He’s kind of the goat in that his shit always backfires, but as a character trope, he’s probably the most fun you can have. I should cast myself here, but in staying pure to the game, I’m gonna call for Vitaly.
Played in the movie by: Jennifer Coolidge
Played in our version by: Hot For Nutrition
You want a MILF? I give you the Hot For Nutrition page.