The Shorty Awards have come and gone and, to be honest, we’re not even sure that we care. The Shortys are designed to honor those people and organizations who produce excellent short form content across the entire social web — that means Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Vine, Instagram, and any other social website under the sun. Winners are chosen by Twitter votes as well as some sort of mysterious Academy of voters, presumably the Illuminati, based on criteria that no one fully understands. Yes, the Shorty Awards are a modern mystery. Like the great pyramids of Giza, we can but look upon them in wonder and confusion.
Anyway, some people won Shorty Awards last night. We don’t get it, but we’re real happy for them. Here is a list of those people for you to read.
Activist – Katie Meyler
Actor – Chris Pratt
Actress – Bella Thorne
Artist – Katie Rodgers
Athlete – Lauren Fleshman
Author – Susan Orlean
Band – HAIM
Blogger – Maria Popova
BN Student Presented By Barnes & Noble College*- Alexia Raye
Brazil** – Marina Silva
Business Blogger Presented By Cox Blue – Jeff Barrett
Celebrity – Conan Obrien
Charity – The Gates Foundation
Comedian – Hannibal Buress
Director – Alfredo Flores
DIY – Bethany Mota
Emoji – Poop Face***
Fake Account – Bored Elon Musk
Fansite – Taylor Swift Web
Fashion – Nicole Warne
Food – Alton Brown
Gamer – Felix Kjellberg
GIF – Tiger Cub and Boy ****
Green – Climate Desk
Healthy Living – Kris_Carr
Instagrammer – C&C Mini Factory
Journalist – Wesley Lowery
Musician – Questlove Gomez
Musician – Lorde*****
Newsworthy Photo – Ebola In Liberia by Daniel Berehulak
Non-Human****** – Congress Edits
Parent – Marala Scott
Photographer – Nat Geo Photography
Pinner – Erica and Lauren
Podcast – Serial
Science – Bill Nye*******
Singer – Taylor Swift
Snapchatter – Jerome Jarre
Teen Hero – Malala Fund
Top Breakout Reddit Community – Serious Eats
Tumblr Blog – If They Gunned Me Down
TV Show – Fallon Tonight
Vine Artist – Ian Padgham
Vine Artist – Alicia Herber
Vine Comedian – Brandon Bowen
Vine Musician – Shawn Mendes
Vine – The 9 Month Vine
Vine – The Evolution of Sharing
Vine Star – Thomas Sanders
Web Show – Source Fed
Weird******** – Saved You A Click
YouTube Comedian – Jenna Mourey/Marbles
YouTube Guru – Michelle Phan
YouTube Musician – Pentatonix
YouTube Star – SMOSH
So there you have it. Those are the Shorty Awards. Some people won them, presumably for reasons. This knowledge is yours to keep.
*What?
** How do you win best “Brazil” ????
*** What are we doing here?! We have a limited about of time on this planet!
**** Guys seriously, life is short.
***** There are two winners for “Musician” so I guess Questlove and Lorde have to fight to the death now?
****** I wasn’t even nominated.
******* Ok, fair.
******** …most of this is pretty weird, guys.
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