Jurassic World hits theatres tomorrow, but one of the film’s biggest secrets is already out. While the original Jurassic Park movies did their level best to recreate actual dinosaurs believed to have lived millions of years ago, the latest cash in on the popular 90’s franchise has gone all in on the science fiction version of the original premise to provide a more impressive saurian to menace heroes Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard.
Indominus Rex is a genetically modified hybrid created by mad science to terrorize a new generation of Jurassic Park-goers who are apparently unimpressed by actual living dinosaurs and need something bigger and badder than nature could create on its own … not that we’re complaining. Adding fictional dinos to the Jurassic Park universe opens the door to all sorts of great characters. Here are five fictional dinosaurs that would make great villains in future sequels:
The O.G. of terrible city smashing giant lizards, Godzilla hasn’t had much to do lately. The fire-breathing radioactive Kaiju who rose from the depths of the ocean to smash Tokyo has starred in two mediocre modern adaptations including one in which he starred opposite Matthew Broderick. Godzilla would probably love to trade in the former Ferris Bueller for Hollywood’s current golden boy, Chris Pratt, but having just become a full-fledged citizen of Japan his work visas might be an issue.
Green Ranger’s Dragonzord
While most of his fellow robot dinosaur cast mates have retired from acting, the Green Ranger’s Dragonzord is still highly active in the Power Rangers fan community attending sci-fiction conventions and making appearances. A new Jurassic Park sequel would be a great way for the mechanized, dinosaur-shaped war machine from space to enjoy the spotlight again without being forced to combine with five of his friends to form a massive humanoid robot warrior or combining with several horrible people to form a Bravo reality show.
I know what you’re thinking. With this squeaky clean image and indelible theme song it would be tough for the former king of children’s daytime TV. Of course, that’s what everyone said about Bryan Cranston when he transitioned from goofy sit-com dad on Malcolm In The Middle to America’s favorite murderous meth dealer on Breaking Bad. Barney’s unnatural purple hue is perfect for a genetically modified abomination crafted by science to bring about the doom of mankind, and like the Jurassic Park franchise Barney also has plenty of nostalgic name recognition from coveted #millennials.
What’s better than one popular 90’s property rebooted into a big budget, CGI heavy movie cash grab? TWO popular 90’s properties rebooted into a big budget, CGI heavy movie cash grab mashed up together. In the latest installment of his Transformers series, Michael Bay introduced the Dinobots. While most transformers adopt the form of earth vehicles and machines in order to hide in plain sight, the Dinobots took on the form of dinosaurs…for some reason. Those forms probably aren’t super great for blending in but they’d be PERFECT for starring Transformers 7: Jurassic Universe. It would be the biggest crossover in history and it wouldn’t even need a plot…or any actors. I’m a genius!
Naturally, I saved the best for last. T-Rex left a permanent impression on a whole generation of movie fans when it tried to eat Sam Neil and Laura Dern and successfully devoured a lawyer on a toilet in the original Jurassic Park. However, since the movie premiered way back in 1993 scientists have begun to suspect that the so called “terrible lizard” may not have existed at all. What an insane twist! The perfect fictional dinosaur to feature in the next Jurassic Park sequel is the one who started it all.
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