“I was happy I was content …” says David Letterman of his retirement, “and then Donald Trump announced he was running for President. I’ve made a big mistake.”
San Antonio, TX got a big treat in the form of a surprise performance from Dave recently during Martin Short and Steve Martin’s travelling comedy show. The ex-late show host showed up on stage complete with a big, bushy retirement beard to lampoon the Donald’s aim at the White House.
Wielding the list, “Interesting Facts About Donald Trump,” Dave sent the crowd into a delighted tizzy — a noise he’s no doubt missed at least a little since he retired from the show he created 33 years ago.
Apparently YouTubers have missed him as well: the clip has drawn 1.5 million views in less than 24 hours.
Here’s the list if you can’t watch the clip:
10. That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.
9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.
8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.
7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head?
6. Trump walked away from a successful television show for a disillusioned bullshit … oh wait, no, that’s me.
5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds … 250 with cologne.
4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is “free range.”
3. Instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, Trump would evict a family.
Tie: That’s not a hairdo, it’s a wind advisory.
2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a movie called “No Amigos.”
1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.
So there you go, love it or hate it, we get just a little bit more Dave. Hopefully, he pops up every now and again, like the Groundhog to read a new Top Ten List in random places. Why it could foretell of six more weeks of summer!