First up, when covering an article like this, you need a boss picture of Harley Morenstein to go with the article.
This one captures the Sauce Boss nicely:
Okay, now on to more pressing matters. Mr. Morenstein recently had to take a Ms. Manners type to task lately when she burned on the good men of Montreal. In a sort of call-and-response piece, Irina Terehova, the writer for the Montreal Blog, a sort of “all things Montreal” online magazine, had the ill-fortune to run up against some of Montreal’s more toxic bachelors. So rancid has been her experience, she decided to hold court and relearn some basic social skills.
Fortunately, as the Montreal Blog further pointed out, Harley has some opinions on the matter too. And since we can’t very well write an article just telling you to go look at another article (people don’t read those, I guess), we’ve decided to republish some of his fantastic answers. Of course, pop over and and visit the blog of our neighbors to the north for the full magilla.
You’re on a first dinner date with this new guy, everything seems to go smooth. The waitress arrives and asks if you’d like one or two bills. You’re trying to be polite and say that you don’t mind splitting the bill. Your prince charming then says, “Awesome!”
Irina: It’s actually not that awesome. A gentleman always pays. The term “going Dutch” was invented by the English as an insult: they regarded the Dutch as cheap. Just pay…
Harley: If you say you don’t mind splitting the bill, then you better not mind when you split the bill. Otherwise you just lied on your first time out and you’re judging your date on something material when you’ve just started off on a dishonest foot yourself.
It’s freezing outside and you’re not dressed appropriately. Your BF is wearing a jacket. You turn to him with puppy eyes and say, “It’s so cold, I’m freezing” and he’s like, “Yep, it’s cold outside.”
Irina: Um, hello?! A gentleman offers his jacket to the lady.
Harley: What are you an 18 year old wearing a skirt in the middle of winter? This is Montreal. We all know the weather and a man or woman can get really sick if they’re not dressed appropriately for this weather. Be a responsible adult and don’t worry about looking good when it’s -30°C. I would give my sweater on a cold summer night or when there’s a gust of wind, but there needs to be limits.
You’re walking into a restaurant and your man doesn’t bother to open and hold the door for you. Instead, he just walks in and heads straight to the hostess, not giving a single f*ck how you’re doing behind.
Irina: A gentleman treats all women and girls as ladies. That includes opening doors for them. It’s not a condescending act, it’s actually the opposite. If the door is the kind that opens itself, you always let the lady go in first, by the way.
Harley: If he doesn’t do this, throw him in a garbage can.
Your guy tells you he’ll come pick you up at 6pm. It’s 7.30pm and you receive a text, “Be there in 20 min babe”.
Irina: A gentleman is always on time. It’s common courtesy to respect her time. No gentleman will allow himself to be late for a date or any other event for that matter.
Harley: This applies to all humans in all scenarios and can’t be pinned on ‘Montreal men.’
You’re at a friend’s house and there are not enough chairs for everyone. Your man takes the last chair and you’re left standing with a couple other girls.
Irina: A gentleman gives up his seat. This includes public transport, waiting rooms, etc.
Harley: Sounds like you’re describing an actual person you dated.
You’re at a table with your man having dinner in a restaurant. He is talking with his mouth full and using his fork as a tooth pick…
Irina: Mind your table manners, gentlemen.
Harley: Yeah, this is so specific that I’m starting to think this article is just a passive aggressive attack on an ex.
When your guy loses his cool over something stupid and screams at a waitress or his buddy. And you’re just there freaking out in your head cause he looks really scary.
Irina: A gentleman is always respectful and collected. There are ways of dealing with any situation and it doesn’t include being rude or going crazy.
Harley: Wasn’t this article titled ‘Dating In Montreal Sucks’? I don’t know one guy that has ever screamed at a waitress. I wouldn’t be their friend let alone date them. This article should’ve been titled “I Date Sucky People in Montreal.”
Good stuff, eh? Makes me want to move to Montreal and be classy. But the reality is I’d treat her like crap and then cheat on her. Montreal is better off without me. So are a lot of places. World, be glad for good guys like Harley Morenstein.